Diary

Days 1 and 2

Business as usual. Get up. Feed the horses. Turn on the radio.

“Untold loss of life; World Trade Center collapses.”

Call Greg about fuse box in tack room - not home, leave message.

“Planes hit each tower of skyscraper.”

Unload two rolls of wire and fifty T-posts.

“Witnesses; plane hits Pentagon.”

Take third grader to school. Go by hardware store for metal cutting circular saw blade.

“Car bomb explodes outside of State Department.”

I sit in the pickup for 20 minutes listening to the news on the radio.

All planes grounded across country. Airports closed.”

My daughter calls to see if I’m home or traveling somewhere. I realize I could have been. Unlikely on one of the hijacked flights, but at least stranded somewhere.

“Unimaginable, devastating, unspeakable carnage.”

“President orders investigation.”

“Osama bin Laden congratulated the terrorists who carried out the deadly attack."

“Over 200 firefighters and policemen missing in the rubble.”

“Many West Bank Palestinians were celebrating and passing out sweets as children chanted slogans.”

“Radio psychologist says it’s too soon to talk about forgiveness.”

I hit myself on the thumb with the hammer. Immediately turned blue.

“Human body parts floating in a foot of sooty muck.”

How can I keep functioning as this story unfolds. I’m just numb. It is so overwhelming and I’m over a thousand miles from New York City. Politicians are already timidly testing the waters for sound bites. The media is microscoping President Bush to cast judgement on how he is handling the crisis. Everytime you turn around somebody is praying or invoking God’s help.

It’s hard to imagine how this massive wound to our country could evolve into petty blaming, political demagoguery, a P.E.T.A campaign or morbid jokes.

Right now most of us are just trying to get through the day.

“My husband called at 7 a.m. when he got to work, he is on the 59th floor of the South Tower. I can’t get a hold of him. I’m so worried.”

At supper grace tonight I felt a big hole in my heart.